OK so I’m up, bored and complete aware that in 4 hours I have serious work to do but……I was just thinking about the stuff that really annoys me about guys…..thing’s that are actually quite intolerable and unacceptable…….and it goes a little something like this:

Top Ten Turn Off’s:

1 – When you think you can tell me what to do  – ‘don’t get a tattoo,’ ‘you went out last night, you can’t go out tonight,’ ‘I told you not to wear that dress’…….**NEWSFLASH** You are NOT my daddy…..so take your draconic orders somewhere else….that ish is NOT gona fly wid me honey! Your going to get that sarcastic… ’yea of course honey’ ….(note to fellas…if she said ‘of course’ or otherwise agreed all to easily……she means HELL NO Bish!)

2 – If you said you were going to call and didn’t…..just in case you were unaware….that is lying (smh)

3 – If you talk the talk and when it comes down to business your stock looks like it was significantly downsized since the last time we spoke! (It’s emotional….. I had all these beautiful visions and in one moment…. you can detroy my dreams and aspirations…….just like that…) It’s worse if AFTER my face gets screwed up with disappointed…… my boy is still looking at you kinning teet (translation= grinning) …..*sigh*

4 – You send me a text and use the word ‘their’ instead of ‘there’…..NO that does NOT count as shorthand…..they have the same number of letters! (This kind of tom-foolery upsets my soul …and trust me THERE will be NO reply …..sorry mate!)

5 – We have a moment…..it’s romantic and beautiful…..everything seems to slow down to the point where it’s just you and me……You lean in….I  lean in ….. our lips touch……..and then you try to see what I had for breakfast by raming your tounge down my throat! ERRRRGH…..please fellas……kiss slowly, gently……and try not to imitate a washing machine….It’s GROSS! (I’m all for passion but don’t go overboard sailor!)

6 – You take your socks off in front of me …..without prior invitation….. Firstly, even if I have no socks on…….there’s no excuse….I just got a pedicure! Secondly…..how you gona just bring ‘em out like that…..I wasn’t prepared, we hadn’t discussed it and I had no time to practice that “I’m not disgusted’ look…. (That kind of behavour can leave a woman scarred for life!)*looks into the clouds and wipes small tear*

7 – Lack of foreplay…….I don’t understand why you think that just because you had a long day….or just because we’ve been dating a while you can skip MY favourite part and just start pumping away…… if I was horny before…..lack of foreplay will definately kill the modd….and you’ll be lucky if you get a goodnight kiss…..tardiness is unacceptable gentlemen! Can I get a witness?!

8 – Going on a date and trying to pull that old……’I left my wallet at home’ ish…….B…..you better go get that ish because bail is gona be much more expensive than this meal! Please believe I WILL go to the ladies and never come back! We’ll see who gets the last laugh …..mwhahahaha (I’m so tired….eyes…closing…..Anyhu…)

9 – Telling me you love me, when we’ve met like 3 times? WTF?! No offence I appreciate the compliment but after that you officially have no chance……You just totally killed the thrill of the chase…..where was the challenge….How you just gona ‘love me’ …..just like that! *sigh*

10 – When you can NOT admit you are wrong……That’s just WEAK! A real man can admit when he is wrong……GENUINELY APOLOGISE…….and maybe let you rub it in a little before you forgive him for his foolish ways =D

Agree or maybe disagree? Ladies, Fellas……What are your top ten turn offs amours???

Pic: Diary of a Tired Black Man….

I know it has no relevance….but her face says it all…….and it’s actually a little ironic….he has the same look in his eye my ex did! lol….Bruva’s explain the look…WHAT TURNS YOU OFF?