As a young woman in today’s society I feel like there is a thin line between being sexually liberated and being promiscuous….A line that is often hard to identify and is defined in different terms depending on your cultural background, life experience and age….obviously religion also plays a role…and let’s not forget about society’s good old stereotypes….

So….. seen as there are soo many factors that make the difference between a woman or man that is SEXUALLY LIBERATED…and a woman (or man, though this kind of labelling is much less frequent) that is promiscuous what is the best view given today’s climate and norms (normal behaviour).

Personally, I feel like men and women are equal… and I reject all double standardsthat would have applied… say 20 years ago. In my opinion, a lot of people, especially men, have NOT adapted their mind set. I still hear some guys calling girls hoe’s because they had a one night stand….seriously GET OVER IT….it’s her perogative…if she wanted some good good & was responsible, what’s the problem….WOMEN have needs and SEXUAL DESIRES TOO you know!

Why is it that guys can sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want….SCREAM IT from the rooftops and no one bats an eyelid….whereas if girl decides that she wants to have fun with a few guys at a time, you know sample all the flavours….. chocolate on Monday, caramel on Thursday and some strawberry for the weekend,….she is STILL considered a hoe! Why are women being negatively labelled for demanding and excercising their equality in environments other than the workplace?!

Further more, I don’t understand why guys still ask that question when you first start seeing someone: “How many people have you slept with?” Because 9 times out of 10 you actually don’t want to know the real answer! Mainly because most guys still think that women should have VERY few sexual partners………..I’m not sure where the cut off point is exactly…but I’m sure that if a 21 year old girl says more than 10…… a guy’s opinion of her will totally change….EVEN THOUGH most guys that age have slept with DOUBLE if not triple that number of girls! You see it’s this double standard, “do as I say, not as I do,” male egoism that rides my last nerve!

In my opinion, there’s a movement going on rite now…..young women are fed up of being stuck in relationships that do not benefit them…..(why should we commit when men aren’t doing the same?!) they realise that the whole idea of women becoming emotionally attached to men when they ave sex….is TOTAL BULLS**T and ladies are starting to conduct themselves just like men do. You see we have begun to realize that all those restraints they put on us are unnecessary and are SIMPLY A WAY TO CONTROL WOMEN! (Yea, maybe I sound like a radical right now but take it in and think about it!) Look at our new generation of women, like Nicki Minaj and Jada Pinkett-smith, who talk about sex openly and are not afraid to express their sexuality…….

To me it makes sense…why should I be limited in expressing myself sexually?…..while guys fuck around and have all the fun they like! Errr Nah! If I’m single and I used protection…what the F is the problem?…NO I’m not a hoe or a slut or whatever, I’m just sexually liberated! Do you know why guys don’t want women to have this opinion?….because then, most of them are going to have to SERIOUSLY step up their game….cos REALLY …too many of you are JUST NOT MAKING THE CUT!! You talk that maaaad talk and yea…u got the swag but that is where it ends!…..You know how many of ma girls have told me HOW DISAPPOINTING and UNDERWHELMING sex with some guys is!…countless…..(can I get a witness?!!) And you wonder why our numbers(of sexual partners) keeps going up?! Oh perlease……

Anyways…that’s what one side of my brain is constantly saying…but the other side still sets some BOUNDARIES ….Whilst I hate the word Hoe or Slut….(when used just to be spiteful or because she got over you and found some better d*ck)  I still think that a woman can be promiscuous, instead of sexually liberated!….

To me there is a very subtle difference..and it is all about a woman’s state of mind! There is however one of category that is between liberation and promiscuity…..and that is “sex for the wrong reasons.”

I feel like some women have sex with a lot of guys for the wrong reasons……..If you have sex with guys because you have low self esteem, or have had bad sexual experiences in the past that have de-valued the act of sex……. then I think that you are having sex for the wrong reasons. And whilst I wouldn’t label that kind of female as “promiscuous”…… I would NOT categorise that kind of sexual activity as being sexually liberated. Anyways…… I’ma do a whole other post on this alone, as I just realized how much deeper that can go….. but getting back to the difference between sexual liberation and promiscuity….

I think a girl becomes promiscuous when she has absolutely NO BOUNDARIES and NO STANDARDS!It’s the difference between saying “I want to have sex today” and going out and getting it ………and just running into a guy on road(U.S.translation = on the street) and thinking, fcuk it…..let’s do it right now! …….Ladies…that makes sense rite??

Let me try to elaborate and clarify…….. A woman that is sexually liberated…has sex on her terms, with someone she wants to have sex with…WHEN she wants to! Not when he calls or just because there’s a dick in front of her. A woman who is sexually liberated, is still picky…she has boundaries and MAKES A CONSCIOUS decision of when, who and why she is having sex! Of course the why…. can be “just for pleasure”…but it can also be just because she feels like it….but in any case….she has decided to have sex and THOUGHT about the reasons and consequences!

Being promiscuous on the other hand is when a woman had no boundaries and does not define her own sexual activity.Instead when, who, and why she has sex is defined by men, alcohol, drugs or a lack of emotional stability at any given moment. It also includes women who have NO SELF CONTROL….the woman that just can NOT say NO, even when the consequences could be dire. Example…spur of the moment sex….. with a person you are NOT in a relationship with……. the girl is NOT on the pill…and HE DOES NOT have a condom…… and until 5 seconds before it happened, you weren’t planning on “doing the do” at all….let alone with this random (person)…….in these circumstances having sex is simply IRRESPONSIBLE and in my opinion, because you just didn’t give it any damn thought….promiscuous!

To sum up….. it appears that the difference between sexual liberation and promiscuity is defined in terms of a person’s thought process (this applies to men and women, though my focus is on my sistahs). If you are having sex because YOU want to, and you have thought it through…and you are NOT putting anyone, INCLUDING YOURSELF at risk…then GO AHEAD and get yours…and anyone who don’t like it can KICK ROCKS!

But if you can go out one day…meet any Tom, Dick or Harry ….and have sex then and there “just because”….without giving it any thought and without even really having an opinion about whether you actually WANT to have sex or not…..then to me you NEED to soul search and try and understand why exactly you do NOT value your health and sex itself!

Obviously there are varying degrees and sometimeseveryone makes mistakes….but if there is a pattern occurring…by which you, as a female, set NO boundaries at all, then I’m sorry to say that is promiscuous and you need to break out of that cycle…because if you are not thinking before your fcuking…..your exposing yourself to more danger than it’s worth!

AIDS and STD’s are not funny…..and most of them don’t ever go away! Yes people…if you didn’t know herpes, genital warts and obviously AIDS are incurable….you may be able to get rid of the symptoms but they remain DORMANT forever…and can come back… whenever they damn well feel like it!

On the subject of dormancy….you have to also realize that you can have sex with someone…who looks like they don’t have anything at all..no lumps or bumps etc…but actually has DORMANT chlamydia, herpes or gonorrhea! And yes…that shit CAN and probably WILL get passed to you, EVEN IF YOU USE A CONDOM!!! Yes, EVEN IF YOU USE A CONDOM you can still get herpes warts, crabs and probably a few others! If your lucky it’ll show up on you and you can go down to the clinic and get it sorted…..but if your unlucky it can REMAIN in your system, DORMANT, and flare up later in life, and fuck your shit up…..including messing with your fertility!

 

Anyways………. I kind of went off the subject there but let me know if you think the differences I stated about promiscuity and sexual liberation make sense? If you think ALL of it is BULL, let me know….if you think women should just have one sexual partner their whole life (how horrid) or if you DO NOT EVER need boundaries…I want to hear it…….